It can be scary and nerve wracking to talk to your partner about starting online couples counseling. But for many couples, they often wait too long to begin. Unfortunately, many couples believe that their marriage needs to be on the brink of divorce in order to find help. When this happens, many years have already passed, resentment has already solidified and it feels like there is no place to start. 

If you are thinking that you and your partner could use some online couples counseling but are still unsure if it’s the right time to start or if you need it at all, here are 5 reasons to start today.

Read more

Although arguments end fairly quickly, one of you still feels lonely

Improving communication is one of the most common reasons couples begin online couples therapy. It is a foundational piece in any relationship and when you are choosing to spend your life with someone. This is vital.

Whenever there is a lack of effective communication, chances are that someone may not feel heard nor understood in the relationship. Sometimes couples are looking at the wrong factor to determine the effectiveness of their communication. 

For example, they may say: 

  • “We don’t fight for too long. It’s normally just for 30 minutes.”
  • “At least we do not throw things when we fight.”
  • “We do not fight in front of the kids.”

While these are generally good practices, it does not speak to what is important to reinforcing connection.

For example:

  • After discussing something challenging, both partners feel heard and understood.
  • Both partners have an opportunity to speak and not be interrupted. 
  • Both partners are present emotionally and mentally when communicating something important.

In online couples counseling, couples learn how to communicate effectively while paying attention to their emotions and their partner’s. Couples learn that while your side of the conversation is important, you are working together as a team. You learn how to make space for each other, versus just trying to “win” an argument.

online counseling

You feel like you are the only one compromising

In addition to communicating to feel heard, sometimes it feels that there is an imbalance in the relationship. Perhaps you feel that you are the one who is constantly having to compromise your wants, needs, and desires to please your partner. Maybe you do this because it’s easier than having an argument, or maybe it’s because you are worried that if you speak up, you may lose your partner. 

Regardless of the reason, experiencing an imbalance in the relationship can eventually become unhealthy in the long run. 

In online couples counseling, our skilled relationship therapists can help you tackle this uncomfortable realization. Whether you are the one who has been compromising or you had no idea your partner felt this way, there is a way to change it!

Your sex life has become unsatisfying and it’s challenging to talk about it

Something has recently changed in your sex life and it has been challenging to communicate about it. Perhaps you find it challenging to communicate about it because you feel it may be insensitive. Especially if it is due to having a new baby, a recent illness, recent affair, or grieving a loss.

Maybe you do not know how to talk about it because you grew up believing that sex in a committed marriage “should” come natural and easy. Or perhaps you know it’s a problem between you and your partner, but do not want to put blame on your partner, so you just ignore it. Or maybe it is that you are worried what your partner may think of you differently because you know there has been a change on your end. 

Regardless of what’s getting in the way of talking about your sex life and sexual satisfaction, it’s still not being talked about. One or both of you are continuing to feel disappointed. 

In online couples therapy, our trained couples counselors can help you get through this important and intimate conversation. Our online couples counselors understand how important sexual intimacy is in relationships. They will help you both explore how to communicate your needs, wants, and desires.

counseling

There has been more nitpicking and irritation in how you both communicate

You may not know how or when this started but suddenly, you find yourself becoming irritated with your partner. Perhaps you are noticing your partner being really short with their responses to you. You notice this cold distance and are unsure how to find your way back to each other. 

Maybe you have tried asking “what is wrong with you?” or “what is going on? Why are you so upset?” Only to get a response of “nothing I’m fine” or “nothing is wrong with me, what is wrong with you?” 

This back and forth is annoying and challenging to work through.If you have experienced hitting this wall, know that there is a way around it. Working through these blocks and finding healthy ways to communicate and even managing stressors can increase your ability to feel close with your partner, versus feeling shut out. Our online couples therapy services can help you and your partner change these behaviors.

Looking to increase trust and security in your relationship.

Infidelity, regardless of what form it has presented itself in, can lead to an emotional injury and attachment rupture. In other words, what was once a feeling of trust, feeling secure, safe, and loved, has now turned into a feeling of confusion, worry, fear, and loneliness.

Regardless of the reason for the loss of trust and security in the relationship, you know you want to make the relationship work but are unsure on how to pick up the pieces. Maybe you have turned to friends and family, and you continue to get mixed and unhelpful suggestions. Maybe their unhelpful advice is now increasing your shame and confusing your decision making. 

It is often best to get an unbiased and neutral party to help you both heal and restore your trust and security. With your assigned online couples therapist, you will learn how to understand your emotional pain. You will learn how to ask for comfort and reassurance in a way that won’t push your partner away. Your partner will also learn why it may be challenging to “just move on” or to “let go of the past” as you go through this healing process together.

counseling

There are many reasons to begin online couples counseling and these are only few that we see in our practice. Know that regardless of what you are experiencing in your relationship, our trained and skilled couples counselors are here for you. 

Be sure to give us a call at 210-706-0392 to get scheduled or you can schedule an appointment.

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

Priscilla specializes in working with couples and individuals who have experienced issues with communication and who are looking to find healthy ways to reconnect with their partner. Priscilla utilizes research based techniques to help clients implement healthy coping skills and communication skills. Learn more on how you can enhance your relationship today.

Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT (she/her/hers)

Priscilla is the owner and founder of Modern Wellness Counseling and is passionate about helping people learn how to implement healthy relationship skills and learn how to take care of their mental wellbeing.

Was this article helpful?

If this article was helpful and you would like to know about our services we can provide to you, please contact us or create an appointment using the link below.