Marriage is a long commitment and it is likely that you want to set yourself up for success. One way to do this is to begin by asking each other certain questions.
Consider asking yourselves these questions before you get married and as you have the conversation of wanting to spend the rest of your life together.
Questions to ask yourself before getting married
- What does this marriage mean to me and to us?
- Why do I want to get married?
- What does appearance mean to me?
- Will you talk about your physical appearance changing and how will this be done? How important is this to you and your relationship?
- Will religion/spirituality play a role in your relationship?
- Do we want kids?
- If so, when would be a good time to start a family? What will we do if we run into the possibility of infertility? Is adoption an option?
- How will we raise our kids and what ways will we discipline?
- What are your expectations for the relationship?
- How will we divide up house chores?
- How will we spend quality time together and what does that look like for each us individually?
- How will we maintain intimacy and eroticism?
- What role does sex play in our relationship?
- Is divorce an option for us?
- If so, under what circumstances?
- How will we have fun and what does fun mean to each of us?
- How do we handle stress and conflict individually and together as a couple?
- How will we make time for others (friends and family) and not let it get in the way of our time?
- What will happen if one of us loses our job? Are we willing to relocate for work?
- Whose job is more “important” when it comes to financial stability, passion, hours worked per week, benefits?
- What is our money style individually and as a couple? What financial goals do we have for each of us (i.e. paying for a wedding, buying a house and/or car, spending money, vacations)?
- What issues should remain between us?
- If you do something that annoys me? How can I bring it up without it causing conflict?
- What are our differences? Will this conflict in the future?
These are just a few questions and topics to consider when talking with your partner about the possibility of getting married or how your marriage will be structured. It’s important to note that the responses to these questions may change over time and to continue to check in with each other as your life continues.
Check Out this Conversation Checklist for More Support
If you have further questions and want to build a stronger relationship and take your relationship to the next level, feel free to contact me to schedule your first session. You can also check out my online class where I provide over 8 hours of relationship information accompanied with downloadable worksheets and supplemental videos.
This will also be a place where I will add more videos about communication, boundaries, intimacy and more. These courses and videos can be completed on your own time and is accessible anywhere! Plus, did I mention you will have these courses FOREVER! That’s right, you will have access to this information to always reference back to and it will be a guide when you are checking in throughout the years!
By: Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT
I specialize in working with couples and individuals to restore their relationships by utilizing research-based therapy techniques. Feel free to look at the online services offered through Modern Wellness Counseling and check out the client portal to conveniently schedule your next appointment.
