Importance of Setting Boundaries in Relationships for Couples

Have you ever been in a relationship and thought “I wish I could be honest about what I need from my partner” or “If I tell my partner what I want or need from them are they going to judge me?” or maybe “I wonder how my partner feels about the way we communicate?”. In some relationships couples may feel like they are not being mutually respected, supported, or even cared for by their partner. If this is something, you feel like you are going through in your relationship then it may be time to sit down with your partner to establish and set some boundaries that will benefit both partners in the long run.

Before I continue, I want to assure you that you are not alone for feeling this way. Many couples find it hard to communicate and set boundaries with their partner as they feel like setting them or talking about them will put their relationship in an awkward spot. In every relationship it is extremely important to communicate with each other and express each other’s feelings so there is no need to feel awkward about discussing or setting boundaries in your relationship. If you find it difficult to communicate and need some help Modern Wellness Counseling offers the Best Online Therapy that can assist you and your partner when making these decisions. This blog will focus on the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and the steps and boundaries you should set with one another.

In order to be able to set boundaries within your relationship you should first be able to set up boundaries for yourself that create a sense of self-esteem because once you learn to love yourself you will be able to establish healthy standards for how you want others to treat you. If you are struggling with figuring out how to set these boundaries for yourself, Online Therapy and Online Counseling Services are a great way to dip your toes in the water and start setting those healthy boundaries for your own self esteem. Once you are comfortable with the boundaries you set for yourself, you’ll be confident and ready to discuss with your partner what type of boundaries you both may want to establish within the relationship. Setting boundaries will reduce stress in the relationship and allow for better communication and understanding of one another’s wants and needs. Every relationship is different when it comes to setting specific boundaries and are usually different depending on the couples wants and needs but there are a few reasonable boundaries that are commonly set within relationships which can include; Sexual boundaries, Emotional boundaries, Time boundaries, and Communication boundaries. Whether your relationship is brand new or has been going on for a while it is beneficial to discuss boundaries.

When discussing sexual boundaries there are a variety of needs and limitations that arise when discussing sex. It is a good idea to discuss things that make you and your partner uncomfortable and allow each other to understand why you may be feeling this discomfort. If you’re in a new relationship it is best discuss how soon/early on in the relationship you are open to having sex with one another and when and where you would feel most comfortable doing so.

Another good boundary to set when it comes to sexual boundaries is to not pressure one another into feeling like you must have sex when the other person may not want to. All of these boundaries are helpful in understanding your partner and ensuring that they are comfortable and able to communicate things that may be uncomfortable to discuss. If you find it difficult to bring these types of conversations up in your relationship, online couples counseling or online marriage counseling may be a good decision to make to help assist you and your partner into talking about sexual boundaries.

Emotional boundaries are another good set of boundaries to discuss and have within your relationship. It’s always a good idea to take you and your partner’s feelings into consideration but there are some forms of boundaries that should be put in place. For example, you and/or your partner should not feel like they are responsible for keeping each other’s emotions in line. It’s okay to not feel okay sometimes and as a partner you want to help your partner by listening and showing compassion for one another’s emotions without absorbing the emotions while doing so. Online Therapy and Online Counseling Services can assist in helping you to be able to make and set emotional boundaries within your relationship. Once you are comfortable discussing these emotional boundaries with your partner, online couples counseling or online marriage counseling can benefit and assist your relationship in setting emotional boundaries that you may have not even thought you or your partner may want to set within the relationship.

Time boundaries are another good set of boundaries to establish with your partner. Although you may be infatuated with your partner and want to spend every second with them, you don’t have to spend 24/7 with one another. It is healthy to set some time boundaries that can include how often you see one another and for how long you want to spend with each other. It is also important to discuss with your partner how you want to be treated during the times you decide to spend with each other. Modern Wellness Counseling offers the Best Online Therapy that can help you and your partner to establish and set time boundaries within your relationship.

Lastly and most importantly you want to establish communication boundaries within your relationship. We all know communication is key and the ways we communicate can have a huge effect on a relationship. When establishing communication boundaries, you want to discuss what is and isn’t okay to say to each other and make decisions to not say certain things or names when becoming upset with one another. It is important to communicate and discuss boundaries which can be done during online couples counseling and online marriage counseling.

Setting boundaries in a relationship can be hard but when doing so try to remember to be honest about how you are feeling and what you need from your partner, listen to what each other has to say and specific needs your partner might have, and communicate with respect when establishing boundaries. It is extremely important to have compassion and understanding when discussing and establishing boundaries and in the long run will make you and your partner happier and your relationship stronger. Online Therapy, Online Counseling Services, online couples counseling, and online marriage counseling are all great and effective ways to assist and help your relationship come up with and set boundaries in place.

Setting boundaries can be a challenge for some of us and could benefit from discussion with a professional relationship counselor. If you would like help, feel free to contact our office at (210) 706-0392 to learn healthy ways to set boundaries.


By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

Priscilla specializes in working with couples and individuals who have experienced issues with communication and who are looking to find healthy ways to reconnect with their partner. Priscilla utilizes research based techniques to help clients implement healthy coping skills and communication skills. Learn more on how you can enhance your relationship today.
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Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT (she/her/hers)

Priscilla is the owner and founder of Modern Wellness Counseling and is passionate about helping people learn how to implement healthy relationship skills and learn how to take care of their mental wellbeing.

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