According to leading relationship researcher John Gottman, finding ways to express intentional appreciation towards your partner is a way to implement a positive interaction with your partner and one simple and free way to make your relationship strong.

You can engage in this positive interaction by giving compliments to your partner. Compliments go further than just commenting on someone’s hair, they can be a fun way to flirt with your partner, acknowledge their efforts, and even increase communication. Do you give your partner compliments? Have you had trouble on what to compliment your partner on or what to say? Here are some you can try today!

1. Compliment their outfit.

• Point out how you love the way they look in what they are wearing. This shows your partner that you are still checking them out and notice if they look nice.
  • Examples can be:
    • You look sexy.
    • Your makeup looks great.
    • I like that dress on you.
    • I like the way that shirt fits you.

2. Compliment something, they did well.

• This could be related to their job, how they handled an argument, how they cleaned something well, or how they managed their time for the day.
• This feeds into you noticing their efforts and what they are doing. Sometimes we can get caught in not noticing small efforts, and I often hear the saying that “actions speak louder than words.” This is a great way to comment on those efforts and actions.
  • Examples can be:
    • Wow, you did a great job today juggling everything.
    • You handled that project very well.
    • I noticed you took care of the dishes and laundry, thank you.
    • You are so good at listening to me vent. ​

3. Compliment their character.

• We are obviously more than just what we wear and do but a huge part of us is how we think and what we believe in. Compliment how you enjoy your partner always striving to learn something new, their commitment to something they value, how they are responsible.
  • Examples can be:
    • I can always count on you.
    • You were so brave in pushing through that challenge.
    • I really appreciate how efficient you are.
    • You help me be calm.

4. Compliment something you admire about your partner.

• This can be anything from a physical trait to something they do not even realize they do. I like to think that is something that makes your relationship unique when you think about your connection.
  • Examples can be:
    • I love how your nose crinkles when you laugh.
    • I love that you make me feel safe when you hold me.
    • I admire your commitment to always making celebrations special.
    • You always know how to make me laugh. ​

Compliments can be small or grand. It really is what you make of it. The point here is to find ways to increase communication by utilizing compliments as a tool to express to your partner that you notice and appreciate them. Whether it is something they are doing for you or themselves.

Remember how this small act can lead to positive interactions in your day to day. Have fun giving your partner compliments!

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

Priscilla specializes in working with couples and helping them learn ways to maintain their connection with each other. Priscilla utilizes research-based techniques to help couples maintain healthy and happy relationships. Learn more on how you can enhance your relationship today.

Want to say “thank you”?