Gratitude can be the perfect way to take a moment out of your busy day to let your partner know that you appreciate them, recognize their efforts, and are thankful for them. Here are some ways to express gratitude based on their love language!
The 5 Love Languages is based on a book written by Gary Chapman, and I would highly encourage you to check it out if you haven’t already. I often let couples that I work with know that all the love languages are positive behaviors; however, your partner will be more likely to notice 1 or 2 of them based on how they want to be loved (aka their love language).
Here are some ways in which you can express gratitude this holiday season to your partner based on their love language.
If your partner feels loved when physical touch is done, then offer to give them a massage to help them relax after a long day. Take some time to cuddle with them while you are watching T.V. or before going to bed. Remember that with physical touch being someone’s love language, it’s about taking a moment to pause to be in the moment with them. Physical touch does not only mean sexual intimacy, but can include sexual intimacy. If your partner is wanting more sexual intimacy, make time for this to happen and to have fun together.
If quality time is how your partner wants to feel loved then try implementing a date into your schedule. Be sure to organize everything from the beginning to end. Meaning if you have kids, contact a sitter, plan out the activity, and plan out the timing. If you feel a date does not fit into your plans or you would like to implement something on a more consistent basis, then take about 5 minutes every day to communicate with your partner about their interests and how they were throughout the day. Try to leave out topics about children, bills, and chores.
Words of Affirmation
Compliments can go a long way and if your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, then they definitely want to be verbally acknowledged. Verbalize to your partner how you notice how hard they are working towards a goal or at work. Share how you appreciate them and what you love about them. Let your partner know that you are attracted to them and what turns you on. Often couples take these small moments for granted because the thought is “they already know I appreciate them.”
Acts of Service
For people who have acts of service as their love language, they often view actions as a way of being loved. A way to express gratitude to your partner with acts of service is to share with them that you will “take care of it.” For example, you can clean up the house or take over some of their tasks as a way to help clear some things off their plate. Cook breakfast or dinner and have it ready for them and the family. If you’re wondering how to implement this, be on the lookout for things that are shared and are often paired with “I don’t have enough time to do x,y,z.” That is a good place to start.<
If your partner’s love language is to receive gifts, then try surprising them with small items that will help them throughout the day or that will just make them smile. Small gifts can be a great way to say that “I was thinking of you.” The gift does not have to cost a lot of money but it is more about the intention behind the gift that matters when this is your partner’s love language.
I hope this was helpful in how you can express gratitude this season and throughout the year. If you haven’t already downloaded the Love Language translation table you can do so here!
By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling
Priscilla specializes in working with couples and helping them learn ways to maintain their connection with each other. Priscilla utilizes research based techniques to help couples form a secure relationship foundation. Learn more on how you can enhance your relationship today.