Managing your emotions during an argument can be challenging; but, it is not impossible. In fact, it is vital for the health and longevity of your relationship for you and your partner to learn to manage your emotions during arguments.
Here are some ways to identify how to manage your emotions during an argument and how this can impact your perception of the relationship you are in.
Managing emotions:
Feeling angry, upset, tired, frustrated, and annoyed are all normal emotional responses. But as previously mentioned, it is what you do during these moments that determines if you are helping your relationship or not.
The first step is to be able to identify your triggers.
Ask yourself:
- What is going in your environment when you become angry? What are you thinking about when you become upset?
- What was it that made you upset?
- When you are able to identify what your triggers are, you are able to find ways to manage your emotional response.
Here is a brief list of healthy vs. unhealthy emotional responses:
Do some of these responses sound familiar to you? Based on this small list, would you say that you engage in more healthy or unhealthy emotional responses?
If you find that you engage in more unhealthy responses, do not worry! Lucky for you, you are able to make a choice to change this!
Impact to your relationship:
So why is your emotional response important for your relationship?
It all comes down to predictability which then leads to a sense of safety.
Let me paint a picture for you about this to break it down.
If you know that your partner will likely respond in a healthy way when you need to bring up a difficult conversation, you are likely to resolve the issue quickly. You will experience a sense that you can trust yourself, your partner, and trust that your relationship will be okay during that disagreement.
On the other hand, you are less likely to open up to your partner, if there unpredictability of how your partner will respond. This can mean that there may be more tension going into a conversation if your partner is not consistent in how they respond. There may even be some doubt and questioning, such as “will this argument lead us to break-up?”
So the reason why managing your emotional responses is important is mainly due to being predictable in your relationship.
But just like any interaction, it comes down to two people and how each person plays a role in the conversation.
Stay tuned as I will discuss what it means to take a break during an argument!
If you would like to get more information on how to handle your emotions in order to benefit your relationship, reach out to Priscilla to determine if individual and/or couples therapy is right for you! Take advantage of the free 20-minute phone consultation and get ready to make a change in your relationship!
If you would like to improve your communication skills, be sure to check out the online relationship classes.
By: Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT
Priscilla specializes in working with couples on how to connect and communicate, even in the difficult times. Priscilla offers couple therapy sessions two evenings out of the week and online therapy sessions. Check out her newest service, an online relationship class where you can learn the essential relationship skills needed to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. Plus, you can learn these skills on your own time!
