Going to therapy for many people can feel uncomfortable and even intrusive. If you have found that you are wanting to go to couples therapy but maybe your partner is feeling these valid emotions, here are some ways in which you can expand the conversation with them.

What can help you in the conversation with your partner

  • Set realistic expectations that your partner may not ever want to go to therapy. 

    • You cannot force someone to go to therapy and giving them an ultimatum may only make this effort be seen as a punishment instead.
    • Recognize that there may be other underlying stigmas related to mental health and counseling for your partner that maybe you do not understand. 


Identify how you feel therapy will benefit you and share that with your partner.

    • Perhaps it is that you want to learn better ways to communicate your emotions or even learn ways to truly understand your partner.
    • Maybe it’s that you want to explore ways to increase your sexual intimacy and connection.
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      Talking with your partner during therapy, attending therapy together to work on your relationship and get through it.

Acknowledge their discomfort about therapy and try sharing the following:

  • You can share that they have a say in who the two of you will choose to speak to.
    • Are there any specific qualifications both of you are looking for that may ease both of you in feeling comfortable? 
  • Let them know that many clinicians are open to having a 10-15 minute free consultation to help answer any questions prior to starting therapy. 
    • This may help in feeling comfortable when getting started.

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Tips to keep in mind when talking to your partner about going to therapy

  • Engaging in empathy is important when trying to understand your partner’s resistance to therapy. It can be hard to see their discomfort and can sometimes be easier to see this as an attack of “they do not care about our relationship.”

    • Instead try vocalizing that this is new for you and that your partner and relationship does matter to you and you want to find ways to improve things. 

Share what you believe you both are struggling with:

  • Perhaps it’s both of you having a hard time asking for help around the house. 
  • Maybe it’s both feeling that your sexual needs are not being met. 
  • Maybe its that you both try to communicate with one another, but end up in a bigger argument than before the conversation started. 

Do not play the blame card here.


Saying something like, “we need to go to therapy so that you can be fixed,” or “you’re the problem, and the therapist is going to see that,” will only make your partner resist going to therapy even more. 

I understand that sometimes partners make mistakes where it may look like it is “all their fault,” but in therapy, we look at what both partners can be changing and improving and look to understand how the couple together ended up in a place where they no longer want to be.

More Tips to Consider:

Try sharing, “I want our relationship to work and feel that therapy will help me/us in forgiving each other and be able to move forward.” 

  • Share that you personally want to learn and would like to do this with them.
  • Regardless of what you want to change in the relationship, remember that you are also in the relationship and share that you value changing and learning and want them to be there with you. 
  • Remember that it is you both against the problem and not you both against each other. 
  • Be patient with this request.
  • For some couples, if one partner brings up this suggestion, there is no question about it and they are scheduling their intake the very next day. For other couples, it can take years to finally build up the courage to attend their first session.
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If you are thinking of asking your partner to start therapy, consider some of these tips and keep in mind that you can also attend therapy on your own as well. More on that on our next blog! Remember that our clinicians at Modern Wellness Counseling can help you and your relationship by seeing you virtually for online counseling. You can call our office at (210) 706-0392 to schedule an appointment or visit our online booking system here.

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

Priscilla specializes in working with couples and individuals who have experienced issues with communication and who are looking to find healthy ways to reconnect with their partner. Priscilla utilizes research based techniques to help clients implement healthy coping skills and communication skills. Learn more on how you can enhance your relationship today.

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Getting Scheduled

Getting started with a therapist for online couples counseling is easy and convenient while in the comfort of your own home. You can schedule online through our client portal. If you are planning to use your insurance, please note that only a few clinicians accept limited insurance plans. You can give our office a call at 210-706-0392, and our intake coordinator can answer any questions you may have. If your insurance is accepted, she can get you scheduled and gather the needed insurance information.

What we need from you

In order to get scheduled for online couples counseling we will need the following from you, your full name, email address, and phone number. We do require you to make a $40 deposit to hold your intake session. This deposit goes toward your first session’s payment.

What to expect between scheduling and your session

After you get scheduled, you will receive a link to your secured client portal. You will have documents to sign and complete 24 hours before your intake session. This allows for your intake session to be focused on your presenting issue. Ten minutes before your session, you will receive a secured link for your video call. You can use this link to join in on your online therapy session.

Other Therapy & Counseling Services at Modern Wellness Counseling

In addition to online couples counseling , learn more about our therapy and counseling services including premarital counseling, Online Therapy for Anxiety, and online couples counseling, to help you thrive in relationships and life!

Best, Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT
Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling
P.S. Have you found our free content to be helpful in any way and want to say “thank you”? Enhance Your Relationship with Modern Wellness Counseling. Online, convenient, counseling from the comfort of your own home. San Antonio, Tx. 78249, 78258, 78255,78230.

Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT (she/her/hers)

Priscilla is the owner and founder of Modern Wellness Counseling and is passionate about helping people learn how to implement healthy relationship skills and learn how to take care of their mental wellbeing.

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